


Sugar (Yes! Please)

by baeksoolatte



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, grammar failure, poor and rushed writing, unedited, weird culinary stuff and extremely angry kyungsoo ♥ also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 00:52:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5847511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeksoolatte/pseuds/baeksoolatte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Chef Do Kyungsoo, every star counts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar (Yes! Please)

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Sugar (Yes! Please)  
>  ** **Pairing:**** Baekhyun/Kyungsoo, side!Chanyeol/Jongin  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Warning:** weird culinary stuff and extremely angry kyungsoo ♥ also, poor and rushed writing, unedited, grammar failure  
> 

"Good enough to be digested?" Kyungsoo's hold on the newspaper he has been reading the past seven minutes tightens. Wrinkled edges are now evident. The only thing left for Kyungsoo to do is to tear the newspaper apart before setting its torn pieces on fire but of course, he doesn't do that. It's a waste of petroleum.

"He is right, in a way. That doesn't even sound bad?" Kyungsoo's gigantic best friend slash sous chef, Park Chanyeol tries to appease the shorter male, who is now excruciatingly mad.

"Doesn't sound bad? Doesn't sound BAD?" Kyungsoo almost growls at Chanyeol at the last syllable. His best friend may be taller than him but he is damn sure that he is stronger when his devils are unleashed. "This mop head is honestly trying to get on my nerves. HE IS POINTING OUT THAT FOOD HERE CAN JUST BE DIGESTED BUT NOT APPRECIATED!" By this time, Kyungsoo crumples the slightly thick newspaper in his hands and throws it to one side of the room, only to be picked up by Chanyeol.

"And it lacks sweetness? Lacks what? Sugar? No one ever COMPLAINED," Kyungsoo stresses, "that my signature dish lacks sweetness? Since when did a fusion pasta needed to be sweet?" Flame red paints Kyungsoo's cheeks and not because he feels giddy. He is in rage. No one has ever come up to him or to any of his restaurant's staff to say that their $70 Kimchi Spaghetti is bland, too sweet, lacks sugar, very salty, etc. No one. So Kyungsoo snaps upon reading an article that does not constructively criticizes his dish but personally attacks it.

"He's just giving his opinion." Chanyeol says, "and we all know that opinions vary, Soo." Chanyeol coos his friend and holds both of his hands as Chanyeol's thumbs presses on them slightly drawing small circles. It works though. Kyungsoo calms for a few moments and explodes again. Chanyeol just sighs.

"Who the heck does he even think he is?" Kyungsoo's hands ball up as if wanting to throw a punch. Chanyeol takes a step back. He is worried for his flawless defined face might be the next subject of Kyungsoo's fists' affection. He doesn't want that. As Kyungsoo's best ~~and only~~ friend, Chanyeol also unknowingly signed up for a punching bag position (besides his sous chef post, of course).

"Well..." Chanyeol pauses. He goes over the words he is about to say. Besides from being a punching bag slash co-worker, he's also one of the few people which can be called the Kyungsoo Encyclopedia. He knows that the name he is about to say. "He is Byun Baekhyun. Renowned food critic?" Chanyeol says and sometimes, Kyungsoo pities Chanyeol for giving the most unwanted replies. Nobody should reply to rhetorical questions. Yet, Kyungsoo must make do with Chanyeol or else, he will not just lose ~~his only~~ a friend but also a sous chef.

"OH I KNOW WHO HE IS, CHANYEOL!" Kyungsoo screams. The tips of his ears turn crimson as he feels the blood pump in his veins aggressively. _Curse you, Byun Baekhyun._ Kyungsoo repeats the words "I'm going to kill you, Byun Baekhyun" in his head before muttering it softly under his breath.

Chanyeol sighs, attempts to appease Kyungsoo's anger for the nth time that day but resorts to give up. He tells Kyungsoo to cool down to which the other just responds with an "I'll try" and leaves the room. Chanyeol makes it a point to tell their coworkers to not speak about today's food critic article in the The Seoul Times. Everybody abides to Chanyeol's order. After all, who wants to see an untamed Do Kyungsoo? They might all get fired.

Kyungsoo has anger issues but he can manage them. Oh, he does. He holds on to his anger management buddy, Charlie, which may or may not be a toque-shaped stress ball (which is weird because stress balls should be shaped like a ball but Charlie is a toque). He holds onto it and squeezes it for a number of times and he calms down. Whatever the cause of his anger, he can manage it. He doesn't let it slip but he does deal with it in a civil manner. Jongdae once set a steak on fire and, well, Kyungsoo just told Jongdae to redo it for the customer and eat the burnt steak. He oozes down like how those bubbles form once you shake a soda can relentlessly. His anger boils down unless, the cause of his anger is Byun Baekhyun. _Fuck, Byun Baekhyun._

Byun Baekhyun is another case. Kyungsoo hates Baekhyun inside out, head to foot, to the moon and back. He hates every little detail, atom, fiber and hair strand in that devil's body. Kyungsoo even believes that Baekhyun is the devil in disguise so that he can cause a multitude of sins in a minute just by thinking of the name _Byun Baekhyun_. It is annoying, really. It just is. Kyungsoo hates it that he needs to deal with Baekhyun in a weekly basis. Baekhyun has to be one of Korea's top and famous food critics and to maintain Kyungsoo's 5-star reputation, he needs to earn a star from stupid Byun Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo is just thankful that Chanyeol is there to deal with his agony and rants. If not for his elf friend, who will be there?

Kyungsoo picks up the then crumpled newspaper, shaped into a ball. Chanyeol takes it away from him, flattening said newspaper and attempting to undo the wrinkles while sitting idly behind a desk. Kyungsoo sneaks a glance at the 2-inch photo of Baekhyun at the side column beside the critic's hell of a name and the opinion article's title printed in large, heavy typed, serif letters: _Korean-Italian Fusion, Is It Really Fantissimo?_ Kyungsoo snickers upon reading the title. It _is_ funny if it _aims_ to any modern Italian food place out there but of course, it doesn't. It is written specially for Kyungsoo's baby, his life, his 5-star Italian Fusion restaurant, Deli Bella. He shifts his attention to the photo of Baekhyun again.

Black Hair. Small almond eyes. Fat nose. Sheepish smile. Female-looking thumb placed below the chin as if making a snag remark. _Must be an irritating, full of himself, food critic._

He does himself a huge favor when he skips to reading the article for the second time and decides to just plot on ways how to get back at Byun Baekhyun. For starters, Kyungsoo grabs the nearby black marker and draws two horns on Baekhyun's head, an ill-looking mustache and goatee plus some fangs. Kyungsoo laughs. _He has always been the better artist._

That's how his relationship with Baekhyun is anyway. _Push and pull._ They are both holding onto the different ends of a rope, pushing and pulling, tugging and will only stop until they see one fall. And to Kyungsoo, he never likes losing which is why up until now, he continues to play this tug-o-war against the food critic who obviously plays along.

Kyungsoo's pondering is cut short when he hears a succession of knocks on his door.

"Get in," he says and the door opens. One of his employees, and longtime friend, comes in. Kyungsoo smiles at him and the smile is returned with an obvious frown.

"What is that for, Jongin?"

Jongin huffs a breath and brushes his fingers through his hair fixing it. "You're getting tensed again. You're in rage," Jongin sits beside Kyungsoo who has been sitting on the edge of his desk for quite some time now, "because of Baekhyun again."

"We all know I hate him. He spat on Deli Bella's reputation again."

"He does that because it is his job. He is a food critic and what does he do for a living? He critics food places!" Jongin hangs his arm around Kyungsoo's neck. "You used to be friends. You and Baekhyun. What the hell happened? I know that this has been going before you and Chanyeol met me."

"No need to go back to the past. I live in the present and I am going to take whatever that shithead's gonna bring." Kyungsoo looks at Jongin. "Shit. I sounded poetic there." Kyungsoo flashes a grin on his face. The two of them laugh and Kyungsoo moves away from Jongin.

"Get back to work, kid."

"Oh yeah, about that. Chanyeol and I are taking the night off. Big date. Bye." Jongin hurries for the door and storms off with Chanyeol leaving Kyungsoo speechless. Kyungsoo just smiles and lets Jongin and Chanyeol take the night away.

Kyungsoo is left alone in the kitchen. He takes out his phone from his pocket, touches the large screen and brings the phone near his lips.

"Remember to hone your inner poet, Kyungsoo."

"Also, don't forget to kill Byun Baekhyun once murder has been proven illegal."

 

 

{***}

 

 

Kyungsoo is thankful for the opportunities given to him. He is delightfully appreciative that he has been chosen to be the head chef for the diplomatic conference between the Italian Prime Minister and the country's President. The chance is divine and it helps boost his restaurant's image.

The only thing he doesn't like about it is that he is teamed up not just with his Deli Bella staff but with top critic, Byun Baekhyun. Kyungsoo thinks that there is a sea of possibilities and that destiny must be fucking with him. Apparently, the President chose Baekhyun to draft the final official menu for the diplomatic conference along with the choice of Kyungsoo as the official chef. Kyungsoo's role is to cook the dishes to be served while Baekhyun is the critic to which of Kyungsoo's dishes will make the final roster and make the cut to be served at the conference.

It pains Kyungsoo to think about serving Baekhyun food and get a thumbs down from said critic -- most especially since there's this drift and tension between the two of them.

 

The kitchen of Deli Bella is bustling with life. It's after hours yet the kitchen is loud and awake, the banging of pans, the sizzle of heated oil when it touches the teflon -- everyone is working under pressure. Seulgi, the kitchen's help, is washing expensive china. Jongin is waiting for the tomatoes in the soup to break down. Chanyeol is mixing the crème fraîche and parmesan cheese then, spreads the dough evenly. The soups and appetizers are expected to be finished five minutes after the arrival of the guests. Sehun is in charge of the salad, which he prepares, and the dessert, which is already finished. Kyungsoo is ecstatic, the same time, he is paranoid. He wants to make this night a perfect one since one representative from the conference's organizing committee, and the Italian embassy, along with Baekhyun are coming to taste and critic the final menu to be served on the last night of the conference.

Kyungsoo will be serving the two heads of states, and also members of the Korean government. It is a tough job to pull but he knows he will not fail. Deli Bella's reputation is on the line and getting through tonight's trial is a good sign.

Two waiters stand in front of the kitchen doors. They hear Kyungsoo's voice and hurry to get the first course: the soup.

Baekhyun has decided to place the easy Italian dish _aquacotta_ , a soup from Tuscany -- where the Italian Prime Minister hails. The three men try the soup and the entire Deli Bella staff hopes that they love it.

Kyungsoo is grateful to his longtime waiters for the good start. The service is done with speed and finesse that the transition from one course to the other is smooth. In the middle of the main course, Kyungsoo, still working in the kitchen, would steal glances at the reactions of the three men. The organizing committee representative and embassy official indulge in the meal with enthusiasm. There is a hint of delight in their eyes as they eat the main course meal. Seeing people take pleasure in eating his food, Kyungsoo gets the urge to cook more. Whilst the two men show their fondness on the food, Baekhyun sits an the end of the table taking in a slice without any visible reactions. Kyungsoo understands that this is what critics do.

But of course, Baekhyun is not just any other critic. Kyungsoo believes that Baekhyun is out to destroy him so... Baekhyun might be concocting reasons to let Kyungsoo fail.

The entire dinner ends on a good note. The two men of the higher parties give regards and praises to Kyungsoo and also, to Baekhyun. They look forward to tasting the menu once again during the state visit. Baekhyun waits for the two men to leave before talking to the restaurant staff.

"I liked it. It was good. I hope this also happens during the state visit. We'll be busier then so please do your best."

Baekhyun dips for a bow and the staff exit one by one, leaving him with Kyungsoo.

"Great job today, Kyungsoo. Would you like to get coffee with me? Only if you're free." He says and lays his hand on Kyungsoo's shoulder. Kyungsoo jerks and swats the hand away.

"Just doing my job. You should do yours too. I'm never free. I have more important things to attend to."

Baekhyun takes Kyungsoo's coldness as his queue. Kyungsoo doesn't even spare a look.

 

 

{***}

 

 

Kyungsoo is left alone in the restaurant. It's way past the closing time and he just told everybody to call it a day. He fixes the chairs and tables by himself and whips one glass of scotch to accompany him for the night. He heads to the kitchen and grabs a few things. He lays his hands on the knife and lets the knife dance along with his rhythm of cooking. _Others sing. Others dance. Kyungsoo cooks._ He chops off some of the leftover basil and cilantro. Once done, he sets them off to one side of the wooden board and minces the garlic then the onion. He turns on the stove, grabs the pan and spreads olive oil on it. There has been some extra boiled pasta for last night and it would be tragic to put them all to waste. His hands move around his part of the kitchen. He grabs the garlic and onion and plays with the heat and the aroma until the garlic is toasted and the onions are somewhat bruised. He adds the greens and then the pasta. He seasons his creation with a dash of pepper and a pinch of salt.

Although critic Baekhyun did write in one of his old articles that Kyungsoo should explore the possibilities and add sugar in the chef's famous Dressed Down Olive Oil Tuna Pasta so that flavors can dance and play in the mouth, Kyungsoo doesn't follow suit. He thinks sugar has types of dishes it complements but it is not good with one of his specialty pastas. _Sugar. Spice. And Baekhyun who is not nice._

He transfers the contents of the pan to a plate and grabs a fork on his way out of the kitchen.

Kyungsoo hears some unusual noises in the restaurant and he stands still and fear-stricken. He sets the plate down on the counter with the hopes that it still tastes good after a few minutes. He holds onto the mop he has used earlier and slowly walks towards the dark, finding the light switch.

The noise subsides and Kyungsoo finds the switch and the lamps light up. Kyungsoo jolts and the mop falls on the floor. Kyungsoo sees another person in his restaurant.

"What the fuck are you doing here at 1 in the morning?"

The person stops from his tracks of tiptoeing, looking absolutely pathetic and hilarious. Kyungsoo is appalled but thinks that it's better that the other being in his restaurant is a breathing person. At least, his unwanted visitor is an almost sane and hopefully, not a psychopathic murderer.

"A simple 'hi' would suffice," the other person says.

Kyungsoo studies the person intently. Black hair. Small almond eyes. Fat nose. Sheepish smile. Kyungsoo's inner light bulb brights up. Must be an irritating, full of himself, food critic. Kyungsoo smiles to himself with that thought. He deserves an internal high five, high six if it's not extremely weird, and he gives himself one.

He gets back to reality and sees the other person staring at him.

"God, Soo. You're freaking crazy."

_Irritating high-pitched voice too._

"You're not welcome here, Byun. Get out. You have ruined my appetite which was about to feast on a good plate of _Dressed Down Olive Oil Tuna Pasta._ "

"With the sugar?" Baekhyun asks.

"Nope. No sugar."

Kyungsoo's right foot taps on the wooden floor as if waiting for Baekhyun to bid the chef goodbye but the critic doesn't.

"Can you leave now?" Kyungsoo's stare pierces through Baekhyun's own pair. Kyungsoo crosses his arms, unamused of the impromptu and never welcomed visit.

"Ah!" Baekhyun points to Kyungsoo's arms, "Crossed arms. You do that whenever you're pissed."

"This is not funny, Baekhyun."

Kyungsoo sees a small smile on Baekhyun's face. He shrugs it off and mentally curses the visitor. How pathetic of Baekhyun to smile at Kyungsoo just because he mentioned Baekhyun's name. Then again, it's been too long since Baekhyun's name rolled out of Kyungsoo's tongue and passed through his heart-shaped lips without any hints and tones of murdering Baekhyun because of their rivalry.

"I'm not saying this is funny." The smile on Baekhyun's face fades. "Look, I just came here to apologize. What's wrong with apologizing?" Baekhyun moves towards where Kyungsoo is standing. He pulls one chair and sits down opposite Kyungsoo whose arms are still crossed, face still annoyed.

"No need to apologize, Byun. Now leave, before I punch that handsome face of yours."

Baekhyun notices Kyungsoo's right fist curled up but Baekhyun's spirit doesn't falter. Kyungsoo has always been a lover of violence. Baekhyun sheepishly smiles and his eyes glisten because of the light's reflection. Kyungsoo is even more pissed. Byun Baekhyun's eyes can't just freaking light up when they want to.

"See? You said, and I quote," Baekhyun makes quotation marks gestures with both his hands, "handsome. That's a good start?" Baekhyun slowly eases his way into a conversation with Kyungsoo which the latter seems to dread and avoid.

"Baek, do me a favor. Do the world a favor and just leave me alone."

"You called me 'Baek' that's a good sign. You haven't called me that in eight years, Soo." Baekhyun stands up and walks. The distance between him and Kyungsoo lessens as his feet draw him closer. However, Kyungsoo takes a few steps backward increasing their distance. A series of additions and subtractions take place and Baekhyun halts from walking and Kyungsoo does the same. The distance between them is equal to before they even started the shift.

"Will we always play this game? Because I'm sick and tired of it." Baekhyun locks his eyes with Kyungsoo's but Kyungsoo blinks then looks away. "You started it. I just made my move when you did yours." Kyungsoo's foot moves in his attempt to leave Baekhyun and let the other male find his way home. Kyungsoo takes a moment to get a feel of the atmosphere that is suffocating the two of them. Kyungsoo doesn't want to talk but Baekhyun does. So he decides to escape from the tension and the unavoidable pain this conversation is about to bring. Kyungsoo moves reaching for the plate he has set on one counter earlier but Baekhyun forbids him to do so.

Baekhyun is sick and tired of playing this endless game and he wants to call 'checkmate'. He grabs Kyungsoo's wrist and makes the male face him. He still looks at him in the eye and it was obvious that Kyungsoo is avoiding it.

"Look at me." Baekhyun's other hand reaches for Kyungsoo's face and touches his cheek guiding Kyungsoo to look at him. Kyungsoo faces Baekhyun, grabs his hand which rests on Kyungsoo's cheek and removes it on the cheek completely. Now is not a good time for Baekhyun's touches. Kyungsoo faces his fear but he doesn't set his eyes on it. Not when he has lived eight years all used to the idea of not having this.

"Please look at me," Baekhyun pleads and Kyungsoo, for one second, gives in but his walls are still not breaking.

"What do you want now?"

"Why do you hate me?" Baekhyun doesn't let Kyungsoo finish. It's one of the million questions that Baekhyun wants to ask Kyungsoo.

"You know why, Baekhyun." Kyungsoo tries to let go from Baekhyun's grasp of his wrist and Baekhyun lets him.

"I already told you that 'I am sorry'. I never stopped apologizing. But instead of responding, you play this game."

Kyungsoo starts to feel heavy as if he might suffer from heartburn later that ~~night~~ early morning. He just wants Baekhyun to leave without any more words. After all, that's Baekhyun's forte: leaving without words. "Which you also played. Go home now." Kyungsoo breaks away and distances himself from Baekhyun. Baekhyun is left standing but he doesn't waver. He started this and he is not going to leave without succeeding. Like Kyungsoo, Baekhyun doesn't hate losing too.

"If it's the only way in which you can see me, interact with me, why not? Why not play this game of being your rival?" Kyungsoo suddenly stops with what Baekhyun has just said. He turns to that familiar face once again lips pursed into a thin line. "Baekhyun, please. Not now. Don't play me with your _shit_."

"Why are you running away, Kyungsoo? Because I am not leaving."

Kyungsoo's first thought is to pick up a phone, call the cops and sue Baekhyun for trespassing. But he doesn't do that. Instead he faces Baekhyun, hoping to settle this mess once and for all, for Baekhyun to leave his life for good. "Baekhyun, please leave. Please do so while I'm talking to you as nice as I could." Kyungsoo is good at this or so he thinks. He gets the cold pasta before heading towards the light switch, turning his back to Baekhyun, leaving the other male speechless and alone. It wasn't revenge. It wasn't enough to be revenge, to let Baekhyun feel the pain Kyungsoo has felt.

Kyungsoo doesn't look back but he is more than aware that Baekhyun is still standing a few feet behind him. He reaches for the switch, ready to turn off the lights and forget what happened that night or all the more nights before this that involved him and Baekhyun.

"I still love you," Baekhyun says audible enough for Kyungsoo to hear. Kyungsoo's fingers stop moving and are unable to switch off the lights. Why must Baekhyun bring this up again? Why must Baekhyun come the fuck back to Seoul and ruin Kyungsoo's good eight years of moving on? Baekhyun has always been full of surprises but this isn't a good surprise at all even if Kyungsoo knows that inside his heart, he's never had fully moved on from Baekhyun -- that all he ever did was to toss his memories with Baekhyun to one side and lock it up. Yet, the bastard comes again like a corpse brought back to life and opens up the wounds Kyungsoo has stitched carefully and painfully by himself.

"And I'd want to know if you still love me too." Kyungsoo thinks whether or not to face Baekhyun again. Baekhyun is pulling too hard on the rope and Kyungsoo's strength is challenged. One wrong move and Kyungsoo falls for Baekhyun again and Kyungsoo's incredibly frightened for that to happen. "Without hope. Without any agenda. I just want you to know." Baekhyun's voice is soft and shaking. Kyungsoo feels the ache in his heart and decides to play this tug-o-war.

"You left me." Kyungsoo doesn't know what to say or how to say what he should say. This talk is not something he expects to happen in the possible remaining years of his life. His mind is blank. His heart hurts like hell and the cold pasta he's planned to eat may now be bland.

"You left me all alone. You left me without a word. For what? For a dream of yours to chase? I would've supported you in whatever you wanted even if I wanted what you've wanted. I would've understood. But you didn't think of that. Why? Were you scared? You strut around like you're some fearless person ready to take on the world or what not but you get too chicken to tell me that you got the grant I also applied for and not me." Kyungsoo pauses for a moment or two. He sees Baekhyun's face, pale, sad and vulnerable. He notices the pain in Baekhyun's eyes but he doesn't do something about it. "The next thing I knew was what? You were on the plane to Europe to chase after your dreams. There's nothing wrong with chasing your dreams, Baekhyun. I don't see a problem with that. I would've been fine with it because you know what? Being able to cook, spending my days with you... those were more than enough for me. Yet, there you are. Apparently. I think I've just expected and felt way too much than I should." Kyungsoo stops for a while to bite on his lower lip. He is not a person who cries nor is this a right time for him to show Baekhyun how weak he is, how much he is still very much in love with Baekhyun. "You could've just told me 'Soo, I have dreams of my own and you're not included in those dreams' and I would've let you go."

"Well, I wouldn't have let you go. I would fight for you first but give in if you wanted it enough. But you didn't do that. And I've been trying my hardest for eight years, devoted eight years of my life to let you go, to set you free, to move on and you come strutting here in Seoul, in my kitchen and tell me that you STILL LOVE ME?" Kyungsoo's never good with emotions. Back then, it was Baekhyun who initiated the embraces, words, kisses and touches. So telling Baekhyun straight to the face how Kyungsoo has felt all these years is the most challenging thing he has done.

"Please leave, Baekhyun. Without words, if possible. I would very much appreciate that."

Kyungsoo gets back to turning off the lights. He stays still by the light switch and hears the sound of his visitor's footsteps until it fades into the night. The silence is deafening and it scares Kyungsoo. He drops the pasta onto the floor, not having the strength to hold onto the plate anymore, the same way he lets his tears fall. He sits on the floor, hugging his knees, keeping them close to his chest as if this action will relieve his pain and buries his head. Kyungsoo consoles himself for the night with the sound of muffled tears and the smell of olive oil and tuna.

 

The following morning comes and Kyungsoo is astounded by the fact that Chanyeol comes in early at the restaurant and that Chanyeol can see him cuddling himself like a tuna and olive oil smelling hedgehog with puffy eyes. Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol do the best friend thing: kneeling down and then squatting, wrapping Chanyeol's arms around Kyungsoo's, pulling him closer while calmly yet worriedly asking if Kyungsoo's okay and what's wrong with him. Kyungsoo pours his heart out and the story comes out from his lips starting from when he was quietly whipping up pasta until the 'conversation' with Baekhyun. He tells Chanyeol every detail, not missing a breathe or glance as he narrates. Chanyeol, obviously feeling useless, couldn't help but to simply embrace Kyungsoo tighter and then let him go.

"You guys need to sort your shit out."

See? Chanyeol is really useless. Kyungsoo wonders why he keeps Chanyeol around but he is too remorse, sad and fucked up to even deal with that. Chanyeol does the best friend thing that Park Chanyeol way so Kyungsoo guesses that it's okay to keep Chanyeol around since he can't have Jongin as a best friend. Filling Jongin with the details of the Baekhyun-Kyungsoo chapter of his life is too tedious and painful to even do.

Kyungsoo tries to stand up but fails until he grabs onto Chanyeol's hand who helps him up. He wipes the remnants of the tears off his face. He takes two deep breaths and then sighs.

"It's not easy, Chanyeol. I'm more contented with this rivalry."

Kyungsoo limps toward the kitchen, holding the untouched cold pasta bowl in his hands with Chanyeol following suit. He puts the plate on the sink and turns the faucet on, wetting his hands and not moving at all to wash the dish. Someone once told Kyungsoo that letting water touch the skin is therapeutic but the running water does nothing to heal Kyungsoo.

"You still love him. Don't you?" Chanyeol asks. He waits for Kyungsoo to respond, whether verbally or through gestures.

"We all know that. You know that too, but you need to admit that for yourself." Chanyeol gives a concerned look to Kyungsoo to which the latter doesn't really accept.

"This is a cycle, Yeol. If I admit it then he'll tear me apart again. It's not that easy."

Kyungsoo reaches for the faucet and turns it off leaving the bowl dirty and unattended. He pats his hands dry on a kitchen towel.

"Stop reading people all too easily. Just because he comes back concerned doesn't mean he is going to hurt you again. You don't know how hard it was for him..." Chanyeol roams around the kitchen and starts preparing whatever that needs to be prepared before Deli Bella opens for the day.

"... I know it was hard for him. Can't you see it? Everyone sees it, Soo. That whenever he sees you, there's a smile on his face even for a split second... even if you don't give anything in return."

Kyungsoo is left mute. Chanyeol makes clear points but giving Baekhyun another chance is like letting himself get infected by the same virus even if he knows how deadly it is. The thing is a part of Kyungsoo still wants Baekhyun, that buried in his heart, he would always want Baekhyun. But Kyungsoo does not give in.

 

 

{***}

 

 

"Chanyeol, is that you?" Kyungsoo says out loud. He scrunches his eyes hoping to wake him up as he descends the stairs. He lives a floor above the restaurant and no one else has they key besides Chanyeol. Kyungsoo has heard a little noise from the kitchen and plans to check on it.

"Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo calls out once again. He doesn't hear any response but only the sound of a knife blade touching the wooden cutting board. He hurries down the stairs and rushes through the kitchen. Kyungsoo's heart beats fast. He is frightened of what may come, maybe an attacker is in his home and this is his dying day.

"Hey," Kyungsoo hears when he reaches the kitchen. A pin light is open and it shines upon who Kyungsoo thought was an attacker.

"GET OUT!" Kyungsoo exclaims, fuming in anger. He doesn't even ask Baekhyun how he got inside Kyungsoo's home. Chanyeol may have lent the key to Baekhyun. Knowing how is the least of Kyungsoo's concern. Knowing why is his priority but Kyungsoo doesn't press further.

"Remember my grandmother's kimchi? She gave me the recipe. You might have missed it dearly."

Baekhyun's hands are soaked inside a steel bowl. Kyungsoo sees the redness of the paste touch Baekhyun's hands. He remembers how Baekhyun hates making kimchi, getting his hands dirty. Kyungsoo rarely keeps disposable gloves so Baekhyun's bare hands are holding the vegetable in the bowl.

"GET OUT!" Kyungsoo orders. Baekhyun continues to work. This time he raises one of his arms in the attempt to wipe some sweat trickling on his forehead.

"I will leave once I'm done."

Baekhyun beams at Kyungsoo. There's a clench that Kyungsoo feels, like his heart is softening from the glow Baekhyun has. Everything comes flashing back in his mind.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun looks at Kyungsoo, the smile on his face becomes smaller, "I was wrong."

Kyungsoo doesn't answer back. He is busy absorbing everything that is happening in the moment. Now and then. His feet bring him closer to where Baekhyun is but he snaps back to his old self when he finds himself near Baekhyun's vicinity.

"I never stopped loving you."

Baekhyun lifts his hands and washes them. The cold water run down and cleanse his skin as he mutters apologies and explanations to Kyungsoo. He, then, sets the bowl aside and dries his hand using his shirt.

"Is this okay?" Baekhyun asks. Kyungsoo senses that Baekhyun is near him and that his walls are about to break. Kyungsoo knows that the destruction of his walls is a good thing but something is holding him back. What prevents him to free himself is the thought of getting hurt once more.

"I should go. I mean, I did tell you I'd leave once I'm done."

Baekhyun extends his hand. Kyungsoo pins his attention to Baekhyun's slightly trembling fingers. The temptation to touch Baekhyun's skin is strong. Kyungsoo's mind shuts down from the stress that has built up within him. He lets his heart do what it wants and Kyungsoo hopes that things will still end well.

Kyungsoo reaches for it and shakes it.

"This is me hugging you tight." Baekhyun clutches Kyungsoo's hand. Baekhyun's hand is damp and it sticks onto Kyungsoo's palm as well. Baekhyun holds on tighter, not wanting to let go Kyungsoo's hand and all Kyungsoo could do is let his heart fall down on its knees and give up.

Kyungsoo frees himself from Baekhyun's touch and follows what his passion are telling him. He moves forward and seals the gap between him and Baekhyun, his arms find their way around Baekhyun's waist. Kyungsoo buries his face in the deep crooks of Baekhyun's neck. The scent is familiar and it feels like home. Baekhyun's hands snake up and wrap Kyungsoo's body tighter and closer to his own as possible. Kyungsoo's lips form a smile and his lips touch Baekhyun's skin. He looks up to Baekhyun, their gazes on equal level.

"I love you still."

Baekhyun closes his eyes and his hands let go of Kyungsoo's body. Baekhyun pulls Kyungsoo in for a kiss, their lips parting and welcoming each other's pair once again. The kiss is messy, chaotic, and numbing -- messy with lips sucking on lips, chaotic as hands freely roam everywhere in the desire to touch each other more intimately and numbing because it's as if the world has dissolved around them.

When it ends, they both grapple for air. Baekhyun places a chaste kiss on Kyungsoo's mouth, nibbling on the other male's lower lip. Kyungsoo breaks it off and smiles. Maybe, it is good to give things another shot.

"What's the secret ingredient?"

"Of Grandma Byun's famous kimchi?"

Kyungsoo nods his head.

"Believe it or not... it's sugar."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Maroon 5's Sugar, #4YearsWithBaekDO


End file.
